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Mysty Posted - Jun 07 2019 : 03:36:53 PM
Hello, everyone. I am a new sugar mommy and new to this forum. I'm having a problem with bonding. One of my gliders is doing great and will take treats from my hand and sleep in the bonding pouch. I feel like she and I could bond nicely if it wasn't for her sister, who is very aggressive. She crabs if you even look at her. She crabs at every noise, even just turning the pages of my book. When I reached in the cage to fix something, she attacked my hand, biting me. When my son tried to give her a treat, she bit him over and over. When I was trying to lure her into the bonding pouch with an apple, she attacked the apple, crabbing, striking and biting, like it was the devil incarnate, and did not calm down even after tasting it.
I feel like her behavior is not only making it impossible to bond with her, but also with her sister, because she gets very upset when the other one crabs. If she is about to take a treat from me and her sister crabs, she will run away from me and not come back. If she gets a treat, she has to hide from her sister to eat it, or the other will even crab at her sister and steal the treat.
I know the bonding process can take a long time, but it has been 3 weeks with absolutely no progress. I feel like progress is impossible while everyone is terrified of the aggressive one. I get that sick, scared feeling when I take her from the cage and my hands shake uncontrollably when transferring her to the bonding pouch.
It may not be the right thing, but I decided to separate the two sisters and see if at least one will start to bond. Things have not improved with the aggressive one, but they have with her sister. I've reached a point where I think I might have to re-home her to someone who knows how to handle gliders like her, but before I do something that drastic, I wanted to see if any of you could offer advice. I have been constantly researching gliders online, before and after getting my gliders, but it seems, after a point, the more you research, the less you learn because so many people have different views of the right way to raise and bond with gliders.
I just don't know what to do. Any advice and encouragement would be appreciated.
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| 4 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
Infamous808 Posted - Jun 13 2019 : 11:33:38 PM
When Barrel, my male suggie was being a little pest during the bonding days, I took extra time with him. Now, again, I'm gonna play Devil's advocate here. But light use of physical discipline, and Barrel now understands if he bites me much worse will come to him. On another forum someone said this is cruel, but I don't think so. It served it's purpose. Barrel is more obedient and never ever crabs/lunges at me or any human hand in the house. Ever. Someone said it was because of fear, but I don't see how that's possible. He runs up to me and will sit in my hand as I feed him. Nothing but chirps and little barks now. |
Leela Posted - Jun 08 2019 : 01:06:42 PM
3 weeks is not very long. She hasn't gotten acclimated with all the new sounds. smells, humans......everything.
Gliders really aren't aggressive even if you perceive it as aggression, it's fear. You are afraid of her and she is even more afraid of you.
Confidence is key with gliders, if you are scared she will know it and it will increase her own already high fear. If you are confident around her she will be less scared and as your confidence grows her fear will decrease.
Yes you do need to take them out regularly but you haven't had time to make a solid routine of it. Once you make it a routine they will quickly figure it out.
Try doing things every day at the same time. Treats at the same time, get them out at the same time, feed them at the same time, take out their food dishes at the same time... When YOU make it a routine, they start to understand whats about to happen whether its you opening and closing the door without interacting with them, or you opening the door to take them out etc... They will learn your rhythm, the sounds just before that thing happens, your voice, etc... once they know whats about to happen they don't fear it and start crabbing less.
Gliders aren't much different than toddlers....that just never really grow up. They thrive on routine and can surprise you with their progress when you stop expecting them to progress. The glider that is calmer with you is more confident than the crabby scared one. Use the calmer one to teach the scared one that your safe. When they are back together the scared one will watch the confident one and take her lead eventually
Not sure who your breeder is but I disagree. you can always take a step back and start over with gliders.
IF the gliders aren't responding positively take a step back, think about how YOU are doing things that YOU can change to see if that gets a positive response. Every glider is different and will need YOU to do things differently for THAT glider. What your currently doing is working with one of them but not the other, so change how you address her and do things. Take a deep breath, clear your mind, don't expect a bad outcome before you start and decide that YOU CAN DO THIS. Show that glider that she can have confidence IN YOU.
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Mysty Posted - Jun 08 2019 : 10:49:55 AM
Thank you for the new perspective. When I asked the breeder about taking a step back because they didn't seem ready, she said if I didn't take them out of the cage every day, they would never want anything to do with me. But they really don't like being put in the bonding pouch. |
BYK_Chainsaw Posted - Jun 08 2019 : 03:38:39 AM
i would say.
stop thinking about it as "BONDING". and things you must do.
your glider is scared of you. you need to convince her NOT to be
scared of you.
I would - sit with her so she could see me, not let her bite me, and
talk and sing to her. for 30 minutes or more. let her crab, let her be
upset. I would not try to touch her, not put my fingers in her face, if
i gave her a treat I would place it in front of her so she could see I put it
there and then let her get it. let her crab.. just her being scared, be ok
with her crabbing. some of my gliders still crab in the pouch.
you can do anything you think will let her know you are not a danger.
keep it slow, and plan on it taking a long time. I have one glider out of 8
that still does not trust me alot, will take treats, not bite, but will usually move away from me, and would rather not be touched or handled.
you should really put both gliders back together. |
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