Well, long story short, Thursday morning I got together with my two best friends and we finally moved Lilly and the gang to their new home (foster home for Lilly and Kota) and got them settled in.

On one hand I'm sad as h...well, really sad about it all. The first night home from work was indeed the pits. I don't feel right coming in the door and NOT heading straight for the kitchen to make their breakfast, and I laid awake for what seemed like the longest time thinking about them and how wonderful it would be to hear them barking from across the hall.

Today was somewhat of a turning point for me, emotionally that is. I've spent the last few days deep inside of "boo-hoo" territory, but I let myself look at things a little differently today. I let go of all of the selfish reasons I harbored for wanting them here with me, and focused on the reality of things...and it was such an overwhelming relief.

I don't have to feel guilty any longer for working so much. I don't have to worry about them at all really, they're all just across town for me to visit as often as I can. They're so very blessed to not only have a ton of love and attention, but their home is still going to be a human sized bedroom, clean and glider proof. I don't feel as though "they're gone" so much either. I can take Mom and Dad back anytime, and can't wait to reach the day when I'm ready to do so.

Most of all, I noticed this...

When Lilly and Kota came to live here, Lilly was a sweetie for sure, but still pretty stand off-ish. Kota was just a pouch protective little jerk, simple as that. Before saying goodbye, we had all been standing around in the room that is now their home, shades open, lights on, being loud by their standards for sure...poking our noses in their pouch every two minutes. Strange faces and stranger fingers reaching in for a quick pet and "hello"...not a single crab. Still...no crabbing. While granted, their new foster mommy doesn't yet get the immediate grooming treatment I had become used to every time I came within paws reach, I was so very proud of how far they had come in these last two years. Lilly is down to facehug. a stranger on sight! It makes me reluctant to question my parenting skills as much as I have all this time, and relieves me of a bunch of the stress I felt over THEIR stress levels during this transition.

As happy as I am at how well this unfavorable situation is turning out, this home just isn't the same without my "widdle fambily", and I'd give my two front teeth right now for a bark and good lick down. Never thought I'd see the day where I found myself missing someone peeing on me. :)

Aww, this was a great story. I'm glad you found the courage to do the right thing for your babies. Maybe one day in the future when your life situation changes you'll be able to be a glider-parent again!