I think I can speak for her somewhat. It would go like this:
1) More mealworms. You are all too stingy with them.
2) Leave me alone. If I want to be petted, I will sit in your lap. If I want to be held, I will sit in your hand. And you better have mealworms for me if I condescend to let you do either.
3) When I am barking, you will not interrupt. You will listen patiently and respectfully until I am done telling you what I have to tell you. Turning on the light is interrupting.
4)When I am playing on my wheel or doing anything cute, STOP with the pictures already! Surely I've given you enough.
5) If you "must" feed me food in addition to mealworms, make it watermelon, and avocado. Oh and those juicy fuji apples you gave me last night! Only this time, you will hold on to it the whole time I am munching on it. I know it looked like I had it, but I prefer it if YOU were to hold it FOR ME. (Spoiled much? Ya...)
6)Give...me...that....FEATHER!!!!!
7)Batman can fend for his own mealworms. I am teaching him to be quicker about eating them. Honest. I swear I am only stealing them for his own good.
8)Tell Batman to do as I say. He is always in the pouch when I want to play, and then he HOGS the pouch when I want to sleep. What gives?? I think he loves that pouch more than me.
9)We can groom our own nails, honest. We're not actually stuck in the fleece...we're just stabbing it...for mouthing off to us. Gotta teach us a lesson. Hey, what's this guy doing to our nails? YE-OUCH!
10)You will sleep during the day like a normal person and stay up all night and play. What is wrong with you people? And quit going on forums all day long. You should be sleeping. If you were sleeping, you'd be awake all night. Lazybones!