since I have found out about my mom I will admit I have been going through a funk. I work all day and go to my mom's during lunch to help her etc. Rush home to get my son to football and then all I want to do is watch tv ALONE! I haven't had them out since the night before I found out about my mom. While I sit there and think I should do it, I had just been depressed and I just didn't do it. Last night I got them out and let them run all around the room and on me! They were super happy (well at least the joeys and Manick). I knew manick missed me because in the morning's he would keep jummping out of the cage onto me! he wanted mommy time!

I have felt bad and hard on myself for not spending time with them, but I was also emotionally and physically exhausted. I have been putting in 10-11 hours days at work to bank up my time for when I have to miss for my mom, and her apts. But still I should have been a better suggie mom.

Don't do that. PLEASE don't do that. I think you're having a hard enough time without beating yourself up, too. I think what you need is some gentleness, some TLC, for you.

If you can, go get a massage, even if it's a 30 minute one. You'd be amazed at the difference just a half an hour can make. Get some good, healthy food in you. Take a hot bubble bath, maybe lavender scented. And drink a little wine or champagne right before bed.

YOU need to "recharge your batteries" if you're going to be any good to anyone. Wearing yourself out thin like this may make you sick.

Please trust me on this. As a massage therapist with 7 years' experience, I know how stress affects the body. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Then you'll have more energy and ability to give to others the way I know you want to!

*hugs*

Don't be hard on yourself. If they knew what was going on, they'd definitely understand. I'm going to part with a secret... (whispering) I've never done tent time. You do care for and feed them right? You aren't bad at all. Things happen and life changes. Priorities change. Just continue to give them what you can.

Of course I feed them and care for them! Even sit and talk to them for a bit. Just not hardly any fun/bonding time. Her biopsy was today. Didn't go so well and I had to leave work to go to the hospital. She was in TONS of pain. She is home now and sleeping

See, you aren't a bad suggie mom. You don't just toss pellets in the cage and push them into the corner and ignore them. Sorry your mom is in pain. I'm guessing it was a bone biopsy from the hip? Out of any bone sounds excruciating. Huge hugs to mom. Does she like the gliders? If so, maybe you can take them for a little visit? And your son, does he see her often? She and you need something to focus on other than this. Sure it's bad news but! you can make it wonderful for her and yourself if you guys get closer. Let her know you are there. I'm betting she's worried about you. As for your babies, I'm sure they are fine. They are happy with the time you do get to spend with them. Aren't they mostly playing together by themselves anyway? I doubt they are lonely. Just be positive. This does not have to wreck your life.

Yes it was a bone biopsy. Wasn't even what was hurting her, same spot as always where cancer it eating her bone! She thinks my gliders are cute, but doesn't like the idea they pee on you ! Lol. My mom is NOT a cooperative person, so it makes it even more difficult! Right now I'm running around caring for her, cleaning mowing, spending time plus dr visits, then my house plus running my 1 son to and from football, then homework, feeding pets. PLUS putting in 11 hours at work. Work has been good so far with me missing, but it stresses me out they will have enough. But I am one to never really miss unless absolutly necessary! I'm pooped and this is just the beginning!

I have been teaching my oldest to feed the gliders in cases I can't be here, and has an emergency number to my glider mentor if an emergency arises. I just wish mom was closer to me!

Isn't there some FMLA thing you can look into to keep your job safe while caring for mom? Why not become her provider and get paid for it? So you have other kids? Could they possibly pick up some of the slack with the gliders. Like tent time or whatever?

Kids I trust feeding but not tent time. FMLA yes I can get, but I don't get paid, and I can't afford that right now. I would save it for the end (sad to say).

Well you have my respect for sticking it out and providing for everyone (animals included) the best that you can, and not giving up on them. Things will calm down here and there and they will be there for you when you are ready.

I wish there was something I could do for you. Maybe letting the kids feed them is good enough? There is more than one, right? They play together. Times like right now when you are on the computer, you can let them in your shirt or on your shoulder. Just any time will be good for them I'm sure. You need to learn to trust others with your gliders too. I know, I have kids too. They are older but still I don't completely trust them with everything.

the last message above I posted was off my iphone while waiting for my son's football practice to end. If you notice I am rarely on here in the evenings and weekends. The only time I am on the computer is at work. my boys are 9 & 12 while they are very responsible for their age and have total respect for the animals, they are just too young to do glider time on their own. They still get scared at times and jump etc. I just can't trust them to do that without me.

The good thing is since they are all a colony now I don't have to take individual ones to the tent for bonding and playing. I can just let them loose in their room to play! I just need the energy by that time it is to play! lol


I'll make it work and I wouldn't give my pet up because things are hard! they may not get ALL the attention they are used to , but they still get attention! there simply just isn't enough of me to go around with my house, kids, pets, work and my mom!

My sister is making things 500% difficult too and she lives in N.H. 1500 miles away and keeps telling me that I am just going to have to sacrifice many things! OMG....I am not going to let my kids do bad in school, or my pets not taken care of, or my job just cause she isn't here to do everything I do. With all respect to those who are a stay at home mom, she is a stay at home mom, and doesn't have 3/4 of all the stuff I have to do. she complains about tired and running kids to practices etc. OMG I do that plus work 11 hours a day, and take care of mom...I just want to tell her to shut up!

Tell her! Maybe tell her if she can do a better job then do it If not to just zip it. If she's barking orders from far away, just close the door and act like you on't hear here. You do what you can when you can. You can only spread yourself so thin before you start tearing. Something will have to give. Make sure it isn't you and your kids.

I agree tell her to be quite, if she feels your doing it all wrong then tell her to pack her stuff and come help u since she stays at home and does not have to worry about taking time off work, maybe she could find a babysitter for a couple of days, that way she could help you, and she would get to see her mom. Good luck and best wishes I know it is hard.

As a nurse I see a lot of burn out in both health care professionals and family care takers and honey you are well on your way there if you haven't already combusted. You really need to discuss this with your sister, it's her mom too and she needs to be supportive both physically and emotionally. If she still refuses to own up and help take care of your mom like your mom used to take care of her then tell her she needs to stop calling you until she learns to either take responsibility or have actually helpful suggestions. You're doing great keeping up with everything on your overfilled plate, but you really need to take at least a half hour a day just for you. You'll be no help to anyone if you don't take care of yourself first. Best of luck to you, your mom, and the rest of your family!

It's finals time here, and I can't afford to be sitting in a tent with gliders all distracted. I let the girls chill in my shirt until they woke up, and then I put them in the tent on their own with toys and just sat next to the tent and worked. They still got exercise and playtime outside of the cage. I know they appreciated just getting to run around in there. This is part of why it's great having more than one. They play with each other, even if Mom can't be a part of the fun.

I'm sorry for all you're going through. I think you should try to find like 15-30min for yourself each day. Take a nice bath or drink some tea, read a book. Just make sure to also take care of yourself, or else you won't be able to care for others.

I don't do tent time with mine nor do I take them out in the day much anymore. I doubt they miss it. Thats why they run away from the front of the cage if I go to the at night for a quick smooch or love. Only once in a great while will they hang on the front wanting love. Then is when I fill their prescriptions with loads of love.

I've never done a tent time either, Omi.

So Dooney, you see? You aren't that bad.You have to take care of #1 first because if you don't, something could happen and who will take care of them?

quote:

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Originally posted by Omis n Kais g-ma

So Dooney, you see? You aren't that bad.You have to take care of #1 first because if you don't, something could happen and who will take care of them?

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They haven't gotten out much, and honestly they don't want too (except mr. dooney)! He loves to sneak out and then run all around the cage on the outside and on the floor! They seem perfectly content with being in a colony and with each other rather than with me. But I do still sneak a scritch here and there and "good mornings" and good nights!

So they are doing okay! My boys have helped me out tremendously with feedings.

thanks everyone!

See? They are fine. They still need and want you. Just not as much anymore