i bought my glider a year old and she had been neglected. I used to spend so much time with her and try to bond but it never really connected. she bites all the time, crabs, and hates to leave her cage. It's gotten to the point where i never really take her out. (I still feed her all the time and clean the cage). I'm also about to go off to college. Should i just sell her and buy a joey after i'm done with college? I think she just needs an owner who has experience with timid gliders

I homed a pair of females that were around a year old and although it took some time, I was able to build a relationship with them. It's been a rewarding experience to gain that from them.

Some things to consider, if she's been from a neglected home previous, she could take a lot more time, consistent and patience to build a relationship. If you believe you are unable to give her this time, then perhaps you should look for a new home for her. Please check for reputable rescues in your area or close by for assistance and please, please, please be very careful of who you sell or relinquish to, she's had a tough life already and now yet another home, it really isn't fair to her, especially if she keeps getting shuffled around due to her fear and distrust of people.

After you do find her a good, loving forever home, please reconsider your plans on getting gliders in the future. If you don't feel capable of giving this one the kind of home she deserves, I doubt you'll find it any different in the future going by what I can gather from your post for any other glider/s.

i love her so much and really hope i don't have to give her up. but i've tried all the tricks and don't know how to fix it. i wish someone were here to show me how to do these things the right way because it's really difficult to know if i'm handling her wrong or approaching her behaviors wrong. for instance, today i took her out and attempted to cut her nails. she crabbed, but me hard as hell, and fought it every step of the way. which i guess is somewhat expected. however, even when i just take her in the bathroom to play, she spends the entire time looking for a way to get back to her pouch and/or cage. i would much rather fix the problem than give her up, and i'm more than willing to do what's necessary. i'm just tired of all the dead ends with progress

Coming here is a great start! There are many wonderful, knowledgeable people here who are very helpful and understanding. I sure can relate to what you're going through. My first experience with a sugar glider (joey) got off to a rough start last year and I almost gave her up....not because I wanted to but because she was terrified and I wanted her to be in a place and with people where she would be happy and secure. People encouraged me to be patient and thank God we persevered. We developed a close relationship that I didn't think was possible. It takes time but it is so worth it. Because of the history of your glider it will most likely take longer for her to trust. I just adopted my second glider, this time from a breeder, and we are working on bonding now. It's been almost a month and while we've made progress, it's slow going. She's gone from very hard biting to nipping from time to time. She still crabs whenever I look at her. I haven't even attempted to trim her nails yet but I'm hoping to be that brave soon. Having said all that, I would tend to agree with TJones. Please forgive me if this sounds harsh, but animals are not disposable. There is a tendency to 'get rid of them' if they don't live up to our expectations or have the temperament we'd like. Then we go out and try to find a 'replacement'. Believe me, I find myself comparing mine to others and wishing they were more affectionate, bonded, loving, etc. But just like people, they are each unique and precious. I truly hope that it will work out for you because it's obvious you love your glider and care about her well-being. Best wishes to you both!

HI Zackmerritt333.
I know you've posted about not being able to bond with your glider a few different times. I'm sorry you're frustrated enough to consider rehoming her.
Rehoming her is, in the end, your decision. Consider the fact that she is difficult to bond with before you do, and that being difficult to bond with might send her on the path of multiple homes. I'm not trying to convince you to keep her, just pointing out a possibility.

The way I put it when I'm talking about gliders is that some gliders are just very nervous and not as people social. It could be their personality, it could be their previous people experience, who knows. But like people, they are who they are. You just have to accept that. Once you accept that your adorable little fuzzbutt is people phobic, then you can start working with her in a way that will make her the most comfortable.

I have one seriously people phobic glider. Once I figured that out and accepted it, I started working with him differently. First, I don't force him out of the cage. The door is open during playtime, but I don't make him come out. I never try to pick him up. On the days he would decide to venture out of the cage before he learned to go back into the cage on his own, I would put his favorite pouch out with treats inside it so he would go in there and then I would put him back into the cage. (Now he goes back on his own) Also, I don't put him in a bonding bag anymore, I keep him in his sleeping pouch and just put that whole thing into a bonding bag if I need to (which at this point I don't anymore anyway).

So basically what I'm saying is I never forced an interaction. I never touched him for a long time except to offer treats. I let him choose to play or not, and when he did play I kept my distance except to offer treats. I spent a lot of time always talking to him to show my interest but never made him go on me or near me if he didn't want to.

I've had him for four years now and he's come a long way. Now I can pet him to my hearts content when he's in his sleeping pouch, or in his cage, but I still give him space when he plays. For the first time ever he jumped onto my leg during Christmas break- but hasn't done it again lol. I can also clip his nails! No biting! But remember...it took A LONG TIME of me just backing off for us to get to this happy point. Probably a year or more, and he's still never gonna be a glider who climbs all over me like my other gliders.

So, if you decide to keep your girl, here's my suggestion:
Bring it all the way back to the beginning.
Give her all the space she needs.
Talk to her, but don't try to touch her.
Always offer yummy treats. Tell her "good girl " when she takes one.
Transport her in her sleeping pouch when you have to.
Get a vet to trim her nails for a while until you can some day in maybe a year or so pet her safely while she's in her pouch munching a treat.
Make sure she's got lots of toys to play with in her cage.
If you take her out for bathroom play, don't force her out of the pouch. Put it inside your shirt and sit there. If she comes out, make sure her pouch is somewhere she can easily find it again. Don't go near her, just talk to her. Her comfort is your priority.
Don't feel guilty or bad if she doesn't play. She doesn't want to anyway.
Make sure she has a good, yummy diet and awesome sleeping pouches. In other words, just give her all the comfort things she needs to be happy.

Keep us updated! I love my antisocial glider and I'm so happy I've gotten him to where he is now. It took a long time, but it was totally worth it.

Hi! I feel what you are going through. It is definitely hard to bond with an older sugar glider, and one that was also neglected! I am just going to give it to you straight and say that it might not be able to happen. MIGHT. I am NOT saying that it is too late and you should sell her, because that would be horrible. I can see how much you love her. But a neglected sugar glider that has probably already bonded to someone and then was neglected by them may not be willing to try again. And also, it is hard to bond with a sugar glider that is older than a joey. Those first few months are the ideal age to bond with a sugar glider, and I'm sorry you missed that. I am not sure if the bonding pouch would still work, but it is definitely worth a try. You should put something small of yours, like a glove or something that has your smell in the pouch so she can get used to it. I really hope I helped! Sorry if I made you feel worse... I do that sometimes...

Awe I have a female who is very shy. She never bites tho. On the other hand my boy is very outgoing but nips very often. He likes grooming my ear but I really don't like it lol.
Both HATE having their nails trimmed and I really don't like doing it. Best method is using a pouch putting there fav treats inside and do one paw at a time or in my case 1 or 2 nails on one then 1 or 2 nails on another and back and forth till Im done. It's taken me 3 hrs to do both gliders nails I think they know I dislike it. Also don't cut the middle double looking nail on there hind feet as they are grooming nails and should be fairly long.

I don't intend on replacing her, i just said that out of stress and anger. But i would love to know what i need to do. if i take her pouch out of the cage for bonding time, is it ok if i work on homework or watch netflix while i sit with her if she's not coming out? I just don't want to sit there in silence waiting for her to get comfortable to come out. also, what toys are good for playing during bonding time? should i turn the lights off? what snacks are good and easy to clean up? any help and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated! thank you all for the moral support, she's not just a responsibility but also a gift. I just wonder some times if what i'm giving her isn't enough

First of all, I offer apologies for my harshness in my post, and I did not realize that you have posted about having a tough time with bonding prior, I have not been on here as often or as regularly as I used to be.

I'm very happy to hear that you would rather work with your glider rather than rehome her, especially given her history.

I would be happy to give you some tips, suggestions that have worked for me with my Lulu. However, every glider is different, and even though my first girls were lacking in socialization for the majority of the their first year in their first home, they were not neglected or mistreated.

I will try to fit it all in this post. I'm not sure of all what you have tried, and I can't say what you have tried wouldn't still work with time, but maybe trying some other things will help.

First: Lulu wouldn't tolerate my hand in their cage. I learned later that she was what is defined as "pouch protective". Now some recommend "open environment" sleep options for this issue. I'm not going to say that's a wrong approach, but it didn't help with my Lulu. Prior to even knowing anything about pouch protective or open environment sleep options I had my gliders in a hammock, and she would pop her head out when she heard me coming and if I dared touched her cage, much less opened the door, she'd crab and even come out, lunging, crabbing, and attacking my hand. I never took the bite, I still wouldn't. I will admit, I let her chase my hand away to avoid the bite, but what I did do is keep going back, over and over until I got to touch her, even if for less than a second, I'd keep going back into the cage until I got that, I got to touch her, I win!

Second: Patience, consistency, gentleness, and bribery. These are the four keys to successful trust building.

Why I preferred the pouch over hammock (open environment). I can remove the sleeping pouch, cinch the top closed, and just take them out of the cage, during the day. My Lulu is a light sleeper, she would lunge out of the pouch before I had a chance to unhook the second c-link, lol. So I pressed the top of the pouch closed and hold it that way while removing the pouch. Once the pouch is out of the cage, on my lap, she is a different glider pretty much. Keep treats handy, rub the pouch gently, talk gently, when the head pops up, offer treat.

Yogurt on a spoon, I started offering this from outside the cage bars, Lulu would attack my hand before tasting the yummy treat. I repeatedly offered (daily to every other day) yogurt on a spoon from outside the bars, then worked my way to inside the cage, holding close to their pouch so they would lick without coming completely out of their pouch. I never used fingers, some do, but I haven't and don't plan to.

After some time, I wish I could tell you how long, I started out of cage play in a safe environment, glider-proofed bathroom was my only option and the relationship between me and both my gliders, even Lulu grew stronger over time.

Lulu & Skadoosh in hammock


Lulu, the way she looked every time I approached.


Graduation to spoon inside the cage.


Lulu, after a nail trim, she's come a long way!


She's terrific with nail trims, so is Skadoosh, Ollie (my third glider) is another story, we're still working on it. Lulu is now a lot like Skadoosh has always been, she will nip occasionally, but for the most part it's to communicate she doesn't like something I'm doing, and it's not usually as hard as she once did.

Please let me know if you have any other questions or need emotional support.

I am so happy that you have gotten so many responses and great feedback and advice! So many wonderful suggestions from experienced glider parents that I'm sure will be helpful to you (and others).
We all go through times that we think we're not doing or giving enough. That's totally normal. Just do the best you can and know how much you love and care for your glider. I love what you said about her being not just a responsibility but also a gift. That's so true. You have given so much to her and I have no doubt you will receive much in return!

Zack,
I always bring my iPad with me when I play with my gliders! It's really more about them running around the tent or room (depending on which colony I have out) and on me when they feel like it.

Treats to give during playtime: cheerio, yogurt drop, dried meal worms, or any other treat you would normally give her. Don't give more than one or two...it's hard because they're such cute little beggars but it adds up!

Toys: depends on where you are. I have this little tree thing that I got in the toddler section at Target, some things to climb on and explore like a ball pit or a vine, and sometimes I wiggle feathers around for them to chase (that's hysterical if you've never done that). You can use basically the same things you would put in a cage.

I bought a very low watt light bulb, but either lights out or I've seen some pics with people who use a red light.
If you're taking her out during her normal sleeping hours then you can sit and watch tv or do homework with her inside your shirt as long as she is in a zippered pouch or you're sure she won't dart out of the sleeping pouch. Keep her close up against you and she should be secure so that the pouch isn't bouncing around. If you're taking her out right before she usually wakes up to play in the bathroom or tent, then definitely bring a little something for her to eat because she'll be hungry just like you are when you first wake up. A little slice of apple would be a perfect for that.

Okay, hope that helps! I tried to upload pics but my iPad wouldn't cooperate. Remember to try not to touch her, to transport her in her sleeping pouch, and don't make her come out. You can pet her on the outside of the pouch for now. When you let her do whatever she's comfortable doing, she will learn that you are the human who is trustworthy and safe.

hey guys! just wanted to update you all with what little progress that's been made. i have devoted time every night since my posting to spend time with my glider and have given her the space she needs instead of forcing her to play. tonight i used a straw inside her cage with some honey on it to play with her. SHE LOVED IT! she was skeptical anytime i moved, but it made me happy to know she was actually playing! she was chasing the straw and biting it and when she got to my hand on the straw, she nipped me once and that was it! I really want to hold her and just let her run around but i know she's not ready, it just makes me happy to see her so happy! thank you all for your words of encouragement and i will continue to update you all on her progress!

Wonderful update. Keep up the good work!

Congratulations! Keep up the good work

I'm so glad to hear. Believe me, from my experience with my Lulu, I can tell you that your efforts are way worth it and it will feel amazing as you make progress.

Hello friends! so i haven't taken her out of the cage since i posted this forum in order to not invade her privacy (as suggested). i have played with her through the door every night (except one when i wasn't home) and was wondering if this is good? if so, how will i know when she's ready to come out of the cage?

Great job! How has she been acting? Are you giving her treats?
In order to answer your question about taking her out of the cage, can you describe what you would usually do when you take her out of the cage? How would you get her out? Where would you go to play? How did you usually get her back in the cage?
Thanks!

she's been playing with a feather and a straw in her cage that i control with my hand, every now and again i'll out honey on the end to reward her. she seems happy. yes, i mean like through the cage. normally when i take her out, we go to the bathroom, i take her out, and then she spends the rest of the time trying to get back to her pouch

Ok. How do you get her out of the cage exactly? It's great you've been playing with her in a way she can feel safe and comfortable, so you want to keep that up. So, if you want to take her out of the cage, do not reach in and try to grab her or chase her around the cage.(I don't know that you do that, just trying to cover all bases). Either take her out when she is still sleeping in her pouch right before she would normally wake up so you can transport her in the pouch without actually touching her, or offer her a pouch with treats inside and if she goes into the pouch then take her out that way.

When you get to the bathroom don't force her out of the pouch. If she wants to stay inside the pouch let her. Your goal is to show her she can trust that you are doing things that she is comfortable with. I know just sitting there with her inside the pouch may seem pointless, but it's building a routine of "we're in a room together, without the cage, and you're still safe". You don't have to sit there long, just do15-30 minutes. After trying that for a some days, you can try coaxing her out with a treat. But the point is not to force her. Give her time to work up the courage to come out on her own over several sessions. And if she does come out, she may also go right back into the pouch. That's fine too. It's a slow bit by bit process of showing her she can be in a room with you and you won't force her to do something she doesn't want to do.

My youngest glider needed exactly what I'm explaining to you. He needed to be transported in a pouch to the tent. He stayed in the pouch for a long time. Eventually he worked up the nerve to come out of the pouch, bounce around the tent for a minute or so, then right back into the pouch. Now he comes out of the cage on my arm, but it's been two years. And, he still doesn't always play. A lot of times he just goes into the pouch inside my shirt and hangs out on me. But, sometimes he plays like bonkers. I can also pet him now and he doesn't bite. But again, I had to not touch him for a long time.

Hope that helps.