Posted by Bourbon on September 13, 1999 at 06:49:20 from 220.127.116.11
I don't mean to come across as pompus, and all knowing, If that is what it seems like I am sorry. Let me explain to you the situation.
1. First off I want you to understand that a lot of us has already been where you are at now. getting a new glider for the first time, wanting to hold it, and wanting it to love us back as much as we love it. The frustrations that are attached when it doesn't happen quickly, sometimes can be a little over whelming.
2. By no means Do I want you to think I am jumping on you. That isn't the case. When you have been on here as long as a lot of us have, you too will start to see where we are coming from.
3. Okay, well here goes, and I just hope that you can find it in your heart to see things as we do..
4. I get an awful lot of emails, regarding bonding with peoples gliders. When they first research and most of us tell them, to slow down and not rush things, and the people grab at whatever that can for those "quick fixes", many times, (and I am not the only one here) we have to work with the owners much longer in the end, the trusts on many are already broken, therefore; we not only have to help the owners build trust, but also help them, regain trust, that they themselves blew. So many times it is double the work for not only me, but the owners as well. The trauma that is re-enforced by a new owner, that wants to rush things, sometimes isn't seen by the owner, till it is too late.
5. We see people that would make great owners, rush things, blow the chances of trust, then turn around, work on rebuilding it, then getting rid of their gliders. Only to have that glider already start a bond with the original owner. But the owner didn't see, that the little progresses were a start. The little steps.. it is much like taking a newborn baby, and trying to teach it to walk. then getting frustrated when it doesn't. There are certain stages that an owner too must see and wait for. You are not at the bonding stage yet. you are at the begining, at the trust stage. Therefore, you have to wait till the trust is there, BEFORE you start bonding. BONDING will ONLY come after your glider trusts you. For every step, that the trust is blown, it WILL set you back SEVERAL days.
6. I have a buy/sell message base. go to it. email the people , see why they are getting rid of their gliders. Read the past posting here. Look at the reasons.
a.)They haven't bonded yet, and want to give them a chance in a new home.
b.)They just haven't the time for them any more
c.)They interfer with social lives/personal lives
d.)They JUST don't want them any more (the newness wore off)
e.)They were Just too much work..
As stupid as some of these reasons sound, we read them everyday, We see people come in and try to get a quick bond, after a year or two, the gliders are the ones that suffer, I would like to ask each and everyone of these people if they would do that to their child. Many would say "No. But this is different, these are animals." That is the reason , many gliders don't bond, because they are to the owners, just another animal. That is like asking a perfect stranger to fall in love with you, and marry you. Anyone in their right mind would say, "NO I need more time.".
I want so bad to see the majority of the people that come in here, staying for the long haul, but it doesn't happen. The majority get rid of their gliders. I so despretly would love to see YOU join the ranks of the minority here. I would love to see you not only earn her trust back, but also get a very tight bond.
Good Luck Scott, and I do mean it..