What the...?!? Is everyone moody?!

To anyone junior high and younger:

I have a 9 year old and I have an almost 13 year old. Both have been around my MANY types of pets for their whole lives and NEITHER could be expected to be responsible for suggies alone. If you are truly interested in how you can best care for a glider, get your parents involved and get them on here and read all the facts. THEN, you can decide together that this is what you really want. There is NOTHING wrong with asking a billion questions first...I actually think that is very mature of you. However, this will have to be a joint effort on all your parts, in my opinion, without exception. Do any of you have bedtimes? Will you be allowed to be up in the middle of the night? Do you do sleepovers at friends' houses? Have you already found a vet? These are valid questions...not personal attacks. if you feel like people are being mean or unhelpful, skip their posts and move on to the ones that have helpful advice, but please...seriously consider ALL advice. We do speak from experience.

To everyone else:

Are you kidding me? I don't know that I've ever seen the board like this with SO many posts changing topic and getting personal. This helps people HOW?! Just wondering!

Great point to make. It does seem sometimes when new members come on and start making post that some of the veteran members here attack them for their opinions and or advice. I have been reading alot of post lately where this new member, undispu7ed (I think that's right), has really been under attack. I know that not everyone post the most correct information and if we feel strongly that the info. given is not correct I believe we could be a little more diplomatic about how we address making it correct as oppose to making post like "who are you" and "where are you from". I also saw a post saying something to the effect of "your a nubby yourself" as if to say that because they are new to the site they have no right to give their input. Just because someone is new to the site does not mean they don't have knowledge about gliders. In some cases I have seen that the info that some have shared (new members) has not been completely correct, but it does not mean we should attack them we should just correct them. I myself have only been on the site for 7 months so I am no veteran member by far but if I were under attack on every post I would not want to stay here as a member and if I were a new member seeing some of the fights that have been posted lately I would probably not come back. If these kinds of things are happening with new members then we as members of this site are not really helping the glider community.

Oh my gosh, I feel so sorry for this kid.

I'm sorry that I did not add that bad behavior is totally different than giving the wrong information. And bad behavior on the part of our newest member should not be tolerated. But it should be addressed in a PM to that member not in open post. I tried to make my post as tactful as possible without actually pointing out who I'm talking about. I do hope everyone understands the point I'm trying to make.

It's a matter of constructive criticism vs. condescending criticism. You know, it's just that it's, well, just embarrassing to me, for lack of better words. I personally "anchored" at this board after seeing the attitudes on the other boards. I know there are going to be debates and there's nothing wrong with that. I just wish people would check themselves and re-read their post before hitting "submit reply" and remember that people don't know your tone when you're typing. I'm typically a pretty sarcastic person, but I like to think I know when it is or isn't appropriate. I'm not perfect and there are people that REALLY rub me the wrong way on here so I steer clear if I can. It isn't tough people! Try it. For the record, this is not pointed at any specific person...just the general attitude of the board tonight was immature.

I think the issue here is not that someone is offering different opinions but that when one is confronted about the different opinion and realize they are wrong they go back and edit the post so it appears they were right all along. From what I have read and seen this has been the case.

I, from experance, beleive that when you first start out on this board not knowing very much and being very new to gliders sometimes it's easy to mistake constructive criticism for condescending criticism. Just because of the amount of blunt information and opinions you are givin by many people, which is good but when you don't know a lot and everyone is telling you what you need to do it can feel like your getting attacked.


I think that made sence, right?

I am so glad Kyro spoke out about this. I have been ignoring the forum for awhile now just for this reason. Which I was upset over, because normally this place is amazing and has such a wealth of information. I understand that it is easy to get heated when you are passionate about a subject, and when you truly believe you are doing something correct. But I think it is more important to step back and realize that there is a person behind the words being typed. This is an open forum. I do not believe under any circumstances that it is correct for anyone to attack, argue, or feel like they have the right to be aggressive when we are all here for the same purpose. The point is, we are here because we love sugar gliders and we want to provide the best possible care for them. Everyone started out new, there is no exception to that.

I think if people start feeling attacked, or such behavior is common, this forum...and consequently our own gliders...will suffer. This is a site for knowledge, not anger.

Perfect sense...I felt the exact same way when I joined and even remember leaving the site for a few days before I realized that wasn't helping my gliders. I came back and that's when I decided I would choose, after hearing everyone's opinions, which ones work for us and which people I wouldn't even respond to. Luckily, the helpful have always outweighed the negative and I hope it's still like that for people. I am constantly changing my posts before I hit the button because conversation is hard without tone. Someone could say "No! Don't do that-it will hurt your suggie!" and one person will take that as "Geez, Sooorrryyy" and picture someone standing over them crossing their arms and shaking their head while someone else might take it as "That must be really important" and picture someone standing over them with a kind hand on their shoulder and smiling, you know? Also, people will innocently come and ask a question...like there was a girl a while back that came on and mentioned throwing her suggies in the air to watch them glide. I can't remember either Rita's or Mrsshoe's response (it was one of them), but I vividly remember picturing her running full speed towards that suggie with arms wide open running to catch it. LOL Maybe I'm a little dramatic, but when I read her response, I absolutely remember thinking it was completely innocent and also if I remember correctly, the person wasn't happy about it because "someone" told her it would be OK. AJ-I know what you're saying and also hate when people do that and confuse everyone.

I agree, Kyro. The problem here is there is no voice inflection, no facial expression and no body language. So some of it comes across harsh when it wasnt meant to.

As a new member, I would just like to say recently, I made a comment in chat, that at times I feel intimidated. A couple of the members couldn't believe I felt that way. But honestly, while trying to educate myself, I ran across some pretty heated conversations that put fear in my eyes. I know I shouldn't be afraid to ask questions, but I don't want to ever be in that position.

This has blown out of proportion. I'm glad that Kyro made this post, but this discussion has gone way further than what was going on last night.

I admit I was the one who started it. But I also finished it. I don't think I came off as rude to but one person, and he knows who he is. I was only trying to protect the newbies on here so that they wouldn't get scared. If you look back at the post I made that started this whole mess, you will understand that this was my intention. Then the oher one who participated in this debute, got personal. I didn't want it to go that way. My only intention was to knock off the rude tone which this person was giving out. Nothing more. And if you read my posts, I think you will see that I'm not lying. I tried to do it privately first, but the person ignored me and continued being plain mean to kids, so I lost my nervs and told him off. No one else was taking any actions, so I decide I was going to do something instead of just whining about it to others. I'm just sorry it got public and personal on a thread a kid made.

Rauha you are wrong!!! Kaz or Eric finished it when they locked the thread.

quote:

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Originally posted by AJ

Rauha you are wrong!!! Kaz or Eric finished it when they locked the thread.

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LOL, well actually I DID finish it, in private with the person in question

That wasn't the only thing I was talking about. There was another "debate" going on in one of the classified ads and it just seemed like a majority of the threads last night were abnormal. Plus, I had just yelled at my own kids for arguing and then I get on here..LOL It always does work itself out, but I also think once in a while it needs to be pointed out and I only do that sometimes because I clearly remember how I felt on here being new. I truly think anyone that's offering advice has good intentions but that doesn't make it correct information and that goes for me as well! I have no problem being corrected...just ask my husband. NOT!! Anyway, I truly think everyone gets the point and for members like Deida...don't go anywhere and don't be afraid to share opinions. If people don't like them, so what? My opinion is that people were being freaking babies on here last night..there, I said it! Big deal. I still love you all <3

hehe, it's kind of like highschool when you first join, everyone knows each other and you're sitting at the lunch table by yourself knowing that if you do something stupid like spill your drink everyone will point it out.

High school is pretty generous. I have these conversations with my 7th grader. We're all pretty short (although she is the same height as me now!!!) and she would always get upset that people would point out that she was short. Right or wrong, I gave her a page full of comebacks and told her to use them as she pleases and if she gets in trouble, they can call me and I'll tell them I told her to like, "I'm short!?! I didn't know that! I'm SOO glad you told me." If someone doesn't like her outfit, I told her to tell them not to borrow it then. You know, just dumb kid stuff. I told her if it upsets her, just don't let them know it and I still feel the same way as an adult.

Sugar glider people are very passionate about the little furbutts. There have always been and always will be people with differing opinions. Everyone is entitled.

We will all take a turn in the hot seat at some point in time. New people and old timers alike... When I first started coming here, I almost left, too. The people at that time were trying to force a certain diet down everyone's throat. If you didnt feed that diet, you were accused of killing your sugar gliders, flamed publicly in the forums, private messages and in chat. Been there and done that. I survived.

In a perfect world, everyone would get along every second of every day. But this isnt a perfect world. Now Im not saying it is ok for someone to be personally attacked - that's not ok. But it is ok to have differing opinions and to be able to feel free to state your opinion even at the risk of not sounding "nice".