This has been on my mind for a while now...and it's time to make a decision that is leaving me with a broken heart and I will admit that I am ashamed at the same time..

I may try to find homes for all of my gliders...I haven't made up my mind yet..but I think I am leaning towards that decision. Here is my problem:

I work 40 hours a week 8-5, I go to college in the evenings and usually have 12 hour days during the week, toss in the fact that I am now planning for a wedding...Needless to say I am completely exhausted when I actually am home. I can provide the diet they need, I can provide the large cages, the toys, the treats...I can provide all their basic needs. But what I have NOT provided in a long time now is interaction and out of cage play time. Right now I let the girls out of their cage all night long on fridays (I roll the boys cage into the office) and on saturday nights the boys get the all night out of cage and the girls cage goes into the office. So the rest of the week they have to stay in their cages....I literally go in and feed them every night, give them some skriches, pass out treats, and walk out. I have felt so guilty about not giving them the love that I know they want...

I honestly don't know when I will be at a point in my life when I will have that time in the evenings to let them out and interact with them. I still have a year and a half of college left and that consumes most of my evenings.

I feel like I should find them homes with someone who WILL give them everything that I currently give them ON TOP OF the out of cage play time that they deserve. I feel like I am selfish to keep going on like this. My heart breaks every night when I go feed them and Jersey wants out SO BAD...she is my most friendly and just loves to be out with her humans...

I don't want to do this...I know I will regret it...but maybe if I am extremely picky I could find homes that will put my mind at ease...

Of course the boys would have to stay together and the girls would have to stay together, I would NEVER break them up...but the boys are in 1 cage and the girls are in the other. My other problem, I would be even MORE picky about the girls...I am SO SCARED that someone would want them to breed. Especially since Panda is a WFB...I don't know that I would find someone I could trust enough...I don't know if I could give them to a complete stranger.

I don't know what to do...and I hope that you guys will understand..I'm looking for support or guidance or whatever you have to offer. If you want to yell at me I understand that as well...I have been a member of this board and a fellow glider addict for over a year now and I just can't stop crying as I type this out. I just want them to have the best life they can have and I don't know when I can start providing them that again...

Sorry for the length of this post and sorry for not posting in the Glider Gossip section..and sorry for the fact that this post even has to exist!

Aw, Tisha, what a terrible thing to have to contemplate. Sometimes you have to do the hard thing even if it breaks your heart. I know you're really under a lot of pressure, and it won't let up anytime soon. I can't even imagine what you've got going on -- when I did college and work, the school was part time and even that was tough. With a husband, dog, two cats and three birds ... well, no one got enough of my time, especially me! Sweetie, whatever you decide, I got your back.

We do sometimes have to make self sacrifices to do the right thing. It is very unselfish of you to take in to consideration their needs instead of your own even though it hurts so bad. The right thing to do will come to you. You will just have to listen to your heart. Take your time if you do decide that rehoming is the right thing, that way you are sure the right person is getting them. Maybe you can do sometime of contract requiring that if anyone ever tries to put your girls with another glider it either has to be another female or a neutered male. (I don't know how possible that would be, but it might be something to put some thought in to.) I am sure it will all work out for you and your babies. Just stay strong and do what you have to.

Tisha, no one is going to fault you for wanting something better than you can provide for your little ones.

But, please,take your time with this decision. Your wedding is in September and your life will slow down afterwards. Planning a wedding is so stressful. But it will be here before you know it. And once your babies are gone - you may never be able to get them back.

Even tho they dont have out of cage time very often, they are still in the environment they are comfortable and familiar with.

Even with having said the above, no one is going to be upset with you. We will be upset FOR you for having to make such a heartbreaking decision.

Rita did pose a very good point, life may slow down and the are safe and well taken care of now. But than again when the babies come they also take up mucho time so back to weighing your options.

I know it's a hard decision and I'm so sorry you feel you need to make one. Please take your time so that in your heart you know you are doing the right thing.

As Rita said they are happy and they are comfortable, you take good care of them, they're not being left unfed, they are together in their little colonies, they get great enrichment toys and things to do so who says they need more than that right now. Right now what they need is to be in a forever home and I know that could be with you.

I would never think bad of you for feeling like you had to re-home them Tisha. We've been together here about the same amount of time and I know how much you love them. My heart would break for you and them because if I know you, and I think I do, you'll beat yourself up forever.

Please don't jump into this to quickly. Let them be happy and safe for now and give things some time to settle down like Rita said. Things may, and really they will change and get easier. Wait it out awhile longer and take some time to see how you really feel.

Love ya girl!

Thank you so much for the responses. I have been thinking about this for a little while...I've definately felt horrible for them even before I had this wedding to plan for. I've only been toying with the idea of finding new homes for a few weeks though....The thing is, even after our wedding I will still have a year of college left! Chris graduates in two weeks but he doesn't really do anything with the gliders. They have been more of my babies. Don't get me wrong, he loves them to death, he just doesn't know a dang thing about them. I don't even think he could put together their dinner if I asked him too! But the suggies have been more 'mine' just as the saltwater aquarium has been more 'his' (atleast when you are talking about the care and stuff).

I will definately wait a little longer...I just can't imagine another year and a half of not even being able to enjoy them! I see them about 5 minutes a day...And like Joy said, when we have our first baby...it may make it worse. We don't plan on waiting too long before having a kid, I'd like to start when I am almost done with school....Now, I have NEVER been one of those people that would dump off their animals because "I have a baby on the way and just don't have the time"....and that's why I'm so ashamed to even be considering this.

I will wait it out a bit, see how things fall into place, see if I can't possibly spend a little more time with them. It just really sucks...it breaks my heart to think about putting them through a home change but it breaks my heart at the same time to see them stuck in their cages! I am going to try to be a better suggie mom and see if I can make some changes. If I DO decide to find them a new home, I want that decision to be the LAST resort....

Besides, when I do have a baby I get to be a stay at home mom for a little bit....And I will be up all hours of the night anyway....maybe that will actually GIVE me more time to be with my suggies...

Tisha, there is no shame in what you are thinking. There is no shame even if you do decide to rehome your gliders. We all know how much you love them and that you will take your time in finding them a new home.

Im so sorry you are in this position - and know you are hurting. <<hugs>>

quote:

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Originally posted by tisha

Besides, when I do have a baby I get to be a stay at home mom for a little bit....And I will be up all hours of the night anyway....maybe that will actually GIVE me more time to be with my suggies...

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When the baby is first born you will be up all hours of the night, but so will the baby lol. But it could work once the baby is a little older and sleeping through the night. I let my kids fall in to their own schedule, I rarely have to fight them to sleep and they are usually asleep by 8 or so. Then you would have a few hours at night to play with the gliders. So if you decide to stick it out it could work, but getting there is the hard part. I wish I could be more help there is always the but on the other hand.

Tisha, whatever you decide WE LOVE YOU!

quote:

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Originally posted by Goldwinger

Tisha, whatever you decide WE LOVE YOU!

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I'm still back and forth...one minute I think I should keep them and hope that I will, at some point, be able to spend time with them again...then the other minute I think that they deserve a chance at a home who would spend time with them NOW.

Honestly, it wouldn't even be an issue right now if I had all 4 together in one cage. Before I got the 2 girls, I was able to let the boys out of their cage all night long! I am lucky that right now, I can provide them with their own bedroom. So the boys were able to have an entire bedroom as their 'cage'. But, I've had the girls for a year now and have had to quit trying to get the four of them together. They HATE each other. So, I can't just let all 4 out in the bedroom all night unattended...they'd kill each other! So on friday nights I roll the boys cage into the office and let the girls have free run of the glider room, saturday it's the boys that get free run.

There are so many what-ifs too. For instance, we hope to buy a home in the next year...We will want to have a guest room and/or nursery...I don't know if I CAN provide a "suggie room" at that time. They may have to share with the office.....if we even have an office! Who knows, I'm sure we'd make something work.

But then there are the other what-ifs...HOW am I going to find a home that I trust? People don't keep promises anymore! How do I tell someone that my girls can NOT be bred, and actually trust them to not breed them??? I guess that is my BIGGEST concern.

I still don't know, so for now I won't be doing anything. I'm hoping that my little fur balls aren't holding anything against me right now!

I am not surprised that you cant get the 2f with the 2m. Really you shouldnt be introducing any female at all to multiple males.

You could do two m/f pairings, but you will still end up with separated cages. However, birthing is the best way to grow a happy long term cage. So if you'd like to have a cage of 5+, you probably should pair off and keep one set if they are not neutered.

You might be able to add one boy to the two boys safely, but it gets harder beyond that.

So I think your "keep" plan should be either boys, girls or shrink to a m/f.

You can get hold of a larger cage and just not worry about the bedroom romping. I never do that with my bunch, and the best they get is tent time.

You dont want loose or escaping sugar gliders around when you have a child in crib.

One thing you can bank on is a dissolving interest in the critters when you are super busy with life. This will eventually mean dirty cages, missed feedings, no hands-on or out of cage time... It happens to most glider owners and they either try to recoup their money by selling or the animals die off before this happens. So keep an eye out for this scenario with yourself. By the sound of it, gliders may not be the best thing for you to be keeping for the next few years. At the same time, a larger colony can be fine with less attention, and over time your interest may re-expand especially with other mothers and kids in your life in the future.

I have too many for personal attention. Feedings and cleanings arent that hard for multiple cages, but hands-on time is. I balance that out in my head by knowing that all of these were rescues given to me and they are all now healthy and happily keeping each other company. Best I can do really so I dont worry about hands-on time and just give when I can.

I really have no desire to breed, and yes the two males are neutered.

Today has been one of those days that make me lean towards finding them a home. I'm exhausted and it's barely even 4. I've been at work all day and on the phone with my college trying to figure some things out (thats a whole other story), been on the phone with wedding venues scheduling appointments, also on the phone griping at my gym for over charging me and messing up my billing for the third month in a row, all while trying to also work and not get caught on the phone all day. Tonight I have 2 chapters of accounting to read, tomorrow I have class, wednesday I have econ homework and I'm going to view a venue, thursday class. We won't even get into the weekend!

Next week I have class tuesday and thursday, wednesday I have an application appt with another college that I start at in May to finish my degree and I also have an appointment to view a venue...thursday class...saturday chris graduates....

Not trying to make excuses here at all, just trying to give you guys an insight of what I'm dealing with. On top of everything I have 8 animals to care for when I do get home from my 8-5 job and I'm just struggling...really badly. I've fallen behind in one of my classes and will probably fail it...I want to drop the class and take the W but that will mess with my financial aid...again...that's a whole other story..

Sorry...I am mentally drained right now and it's only MONDAY!!....tomorrow I hope will be a better day..

TISHA!! I don't know you well, but I do know what your going through. Last quarter I was in your boat almost Identically.

I had class at college four days a week, high school five days a week. I worked 3rd shift four nights a week. I was trying to finish a lengthy application for the nursing program. My 3 yr old mare, Roxy, had a horrible accident and resulted in a badly cracked hoof. The vet told me to put her down (and you know how much she means to me) I couldn't even consider that option and ended up having her on the round the clock care from midterms to finals. Three days into the round the clock care my 1 yr old black lab, Remi, was hit by a car and resulted in a dislocated hip. It ALL hit me at once!!! It was the one point in my life that I can honestly say I FAILED MYSELF. I was exhausted day in and day out. My relationship was stressed and I my health was suffering as well.

But this isn't about me, I wanted you to know that you are not alone in what your going through. If your college is on quarters like mine, we are almost finished with winter quarter. It WILL get better, It seems like life all came barreling down on me (and you) at one time. I say hold in there, get through this month and then make a decision.

In the midst of my "crazy bout" last month I could have ended Roxy's life!!!! I could have been too busy to sleep in the barn, study in the barn, smell like a barn for a month and I could have killed one of my BEST friends. But I some how knew my life could not always be like this, and it was only a couple months. We can push through anything for a couple of months right? Your a strong girl, I can tell, please realize that life will not remain this stressful.

Hannah, thank you for that! My college that I am currently going to is on the normal college schedule. However, I finish this school in April and immediately go to another school to finish my degree. My two schools will actually over lap. I start at the one school on May 5 (my bday!) and my classes at my current college don't end until the week after! So that will be hard. Then, the school I will be going to is actually all year long. It's a "fast track" program so that I will actually have my bachelors 14 months after I start there. So on one hand it's good news that I will be done with college in a little over a year...but thats still a year!

Again, no decisions have been made. I'm definately trying to wait it out. I am going to try my hardest to spend atleast 30 minutes with them this weekend. Maybe that will help me remember why I have fallen in love with them and why I need to keep fighting for them. My love has not dropped for them, I think my mind is just clouded right now.

Thank you thank you thank you guys.

I'm praying for you Tisha. I understand the guilt you feel about not getting them out to play as much as you would like. Take a very long time to decide. Its a huge and stressfull choice. I know you will eventually come to a conclusion that works for you and the babies. Good luck!

Just wanted to update, incase anyone was wondering. I really hate the thought of having to try and find any of my pairs a home, so I have decided to keep doing what we're doing right now. Even if they don't get out as much as I'd like, they still have everything that they need. And I hope that soon I will be at a point again where I can let them out more! I just love the four little ones so much and I want them to be happy!! I really hope they are.

This morning as I was getting ready for work I heard someone barking in their room. So I went in there to get their plates out and give out some crushed pecans. I was at the bottom of the pecan bag and pretty much all that was left were little crumbs. So I poured the remaining in my hands and let the girls take what they wanted. Panda crawled up into my hand (She has never done this!!) and just started munching away, sitting in my hand the entire time!! I melted a little bit. I had to pry the girls off my hand before they ate it all because I still had to give the boys some! Then both boys crawled in my hand and chirped loudly while smacking their little mouths.

It seriously was the best start to my day! I can't imagine not having them, and even Chris is sad at the thought of trying to rehome them. So, we will be keeping all four and hoping that we can continue to provide what they need.

Awwww! They love you. <3

they are somewhere,where they know they are safe.all the smells,sounds,environment they are used to.i don't think they will be stressed over not getting out everyday.they still know you are there b/c they can hear your voices,& see you too.you are making a good decision,they have each other to be w/& play w/. IMO
josefine

Tisha, Im so happy for you. We all know how stressed you were over this. They are safe, well fed and well taken care of. They are were everything if familiar to them. They will be just fine. <<hugs>>

Hooray! I'm so glad you decided to keep them. They do love you!

That is just to cute an image! I am glad to hear that. I'm giving you a big ol' hug of support!

I think you made the right decision. Like others have said at least you know they are safe where they are at, You might not get to interact with them as much as you want, but they have vet care if needed, plenty of food, and lots of love right where they are at. You won't have to worry about breeders or people that may neglect them or decide that their diet is just too hard to keep up with.